5 Reasons Shaming Survivors Into Reporting Rape Is Counter Productive

This is such an incredible, relevant list.
“We should not put the onus on survivors to increase conviction rates when there are so many other things preventing rapists from being held accountable for their actions.”

Read the entire list, with links, HERE

War Machine’s Suicide Note Blames ‘Men’s Oppression’ For Making Him Best His ExGirlfriend

Some may remember a few months ago when MMA fighter ‘war machine’ beat the shit out of his exgirlfriend Christy Mack, breaking her rib, puncturing her liver, and breaking her teeth among other injuries. Luckily she managed to escape while he went looking for a sharper knife to kill her with (!!!!!!!)
So now her has attempted suicide while being held in lockup. He wrote a three page suicide note, in which he only takes partial responsibility for ‘Christy getting hurt’, and was found gasping for air. He is now in isolation.
I am beyond angry this morning so I’ll leave you with this break down HERE

Guante: Action

Spoken Word piece on rape culture and men’s responsibility, phenomenal. Imagine the difference these conversations could make? So powerful
..”you tell me that she never said no, that you’re sorry, that you’re not a bad guy…
Rape culture is silence, is being able to see the future and not doing anything about it, it is believing the fairy tale platitude that there are good people and bad people and that as long as you’re not one of the bad people your job is done, your conscience is clear, it is all of us swimming through the same polluted waters of beer commercials, policing masculinity, and stand up comedians making rape jokes to sound edgy, and media talking heads blaming the victim and music portraying women as disposable sex objects, it is language encouraging us to think of sex as violence, FUCK, HIT, BANG, SMASH, it is telling our daughters to dress sensibly and not walk alone at night and telling our sons…it is a conversation that never happened.”

Columbia Student Will Carry Her Mattress Until Her Rapist Exits School

Good for you girl! On behalf of all those who can’t 👏👏

“Columbia University senior Emma Sulkowicz has taken her experience attending college with her rapist and turned it into her senior thesis project. “It’s endurance performance art piece,” Sulkowicz told the Columbia Daily Spectator about the endeavor, for which she will carry her mattress around to every one of her classes until her rapist is either expelled or chooses to leave the school.”

Here

31 Womyn Show Us The Right Way To Respond To Common Excuses for Rape

These are all amazing, and ALL true.

Some of my favorites are, “Why does alcohal excuse his actions but condemn mine?” and “Do I have the right to shove pizza down your throat just because you enjoy eating pizza?”

 

TRUTH

What Would Make You Believe A Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse?

An incredibly poignant share from a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

In light of everything blowing around the internet in regards to Dylan Farrow’s recent open letter to the NY times, I wanted to share this piece written by another survivor of childhood sexual abuse. It really resonated with me personally, and I feel is a good place to start for folks who have no experience in this realm and are jumping to defend Allen or, almost worse, TO SIT ON THE FENCE OR PLAY DEVILS ADVOCATE FOR BOTH SIDES.

Is it possible that Mia Farrow acted maliciously out of anger towards Allen in their divorce in any number of ways? Yes. Does that have ANYTHING to do with hearing and believing a child that comes to you and tells you her experience? NO. You hear her, and you believe her! Whatever her parent’s did after that is completely irrelevant as far as the validity of her experience is concerned.

As someone who has experienced sexual assault personally, I know what it feels like to be constantly questioned; by friends, family, counselors, peers, society, strangers, and worst of all, myself. I know what it’s like to believe those voices, that your feelings must be wrong, that it must be YOU that’s the problem. Boys will be boys, it could have been worse, it can’t have been that bad or you’d have reported it. I’ve received a ton of advice from folks both trusted and not, none of which was at all validating of the experience I had until almost 10 YEARS after it happened. Keeping quiet caused numerous challenges to arise in my life, at the time most notably I gained over 100lbs and I failed to graduate highschool on time. But still no one noticed a thing. I can relate to Dylan’s story because one of my abusers is also celebrated internationally and seen as somewhat of a celebrity. I too can sometimes not avoid public celebrations of my abusers achievements, and can relate to falling apart and then being labelled as the damaged one. I can relate to having to shoulder the blame for my own assault.

So again, I’m incredibly thankful for work like THIS. We are NOT alone. We are the curator of our own experiences. We DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY our feelings or experiences to anyone. And as far as I’m concerned, any of ya’ll who wanna defend Allen can go take a fucking leap in the Hudson right along side his perverted ass!

Rape Culture is Everywhere – Watch The Most Popular Sitcoms Prove It

Rape Culture is Everywhere – Watch The Most Popular Sitcoms Prove It

This.

I LOVE Modern Family, but I remember that episode well and had the same sigh worthy reaction when Phil says his line. It’s not the ‘severity’ of the jokes that’s the issue, it’s how these experiences become devalued and normalized, leading rapists to honestly believe they have done nothing wrong (Steubenville, for example).

“these jokes make the person on the receiving end more likely to blame the victim, fail to take rape seriously and support lower sentences for rapists. Research also finds that this trend is only magnified for men who already display sexist beliefs.”