5 things to do (and not do) to support someone with depression

“It can be very difficult to explain this alternate reality to someone who does not have mental illness. Please try to understand that rational thinking will not work because logic literally doesn’t exist in the universe we currently inhabit.”

I found this list to be very good. A quick, accessible resource for anyone looking to support a loved one living with depression. Full list is HERE

“What Kind of Life Will My Child Have?” Answered By Folks Who Know

“The best part? Everyone in this video has Down syndrome. And they focus on the good things — reminding people, especially parents who might be worried about what the journey of parenting a child with Down syndrome will be like, that people who have Down syndrome can do all the important things that any parent values. They can go to school, travel, work, make friends, and express their love for their parents, friends, and family. They’re honest about the fact that it can be hard—but isn’t parenting always hard?”

This video comes at an especially significant time considering the recent story of a mom leaving her husband and son because he was born with down syndrome.

Why Your Intentions Don’t Really Matter, But Outcomes Do

This is wonderful. Intent IS NOT THE SAME as effect!

“What’s even more important is that outcomes happen externally.  It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to hit that bunny with your car, you did.  You were a well-intentioned driver and now you have a dead bunny.  What are you going to do about it?  You can try to adjust your driving (pay more attention, drive slower, etc.), or you can blame the bunny (shouldn’t’ve been there).  In either case, it happened, regardless of your intentions, and now you get to choose how to move on.”

I highly recommend checking out the entire piece by Samuel Killermann HERE in full!

On The Fixed State Ally Model vs. Process Model Ally Work

I feel that this piece by Melissa McEwan does a great job of articulating what I’ve been feeling in this regard for sometime. Often using ‘ally’ as part of one’s identity clouds your own ability to actually leverage your privilege productively and creates passivity in your work. The process model allows for a lot more accountability and real change.

“There are two ways that people with privilege tend to view ally work.

In the Fixed State Ally Model, the privileged person views hirself as an ally and claims the mantle for hirself. Zie may also acknowledge that zie is always learning and trying to do better, but states that zie is an ally to one or more marginalized populations.

In the Process Model, the privileged person views hirself as someone engaged in ally work, but does not identify as an ally, rather viewing ally work as an ongoing process. Zie views being an ally as a fluid state, externally defined by individual members of the one or more marginalized populations on behalf zie leverages hir privilege.

For various reasons, embracing the Fixed State Ally Model is actually antithetical to effective ally work.”

Full piece and listing HERE

Intersectionality Glossary and References

Great list of references and glossary terms from Guerrilla Feminism!

“Glossary of Terms

Ableism: discrimination in favor of able-bodied people

Aromantic: a person who does not experience romantic attraction

Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction

Biantagonism: hatred or dislike of bisexual folk

Cis: people who, for the most part, identify with the sex they were assigned at birth

Derailing: posting a comment on a thread that is off-topic from the original post

Fatantagonism: hatred or dislike of fat folk

FtM: female-to-male; descriptive term in trans community

Heteronormativity: the set of power relations that normalize and regiment sexuality, marginalizing everything outside of the ideals of heterosexuality, monogamy, and gender conformity

Heterosexism/Heterosexual Privilege: the assumption that people are heterosexual, or the attitude that people should be heterosexual, because heterosexuality is the only valid sexual orientation. It often takes the form of ignoring bisexuals, gay men, and lesbians. Heterosexual privilege refers to the benefits granted automatically to heterosexual people that are denied to bisexuals, gay men, and lesbians

Homoantagonism: hatred or dislike of gay folk

Intersex: describes a person whose biological sex is ambiguous

Misogynoir: hatred of black women

MoC: Masculine of Center: a term coined by B. Cole of the Brown Boi Project, that recognizes the breadth and depth of identity for lesbians and queer folks who tilt toward the masculine side of the gender scale and includes a wide range of identities such as: butch, stud, aggressive/AG, dom, macha, tomboi, trans-masculin, etc.

MRA: Men’s Rights Activist

MtF: male-to-female; descriptive term in trans community

Neurodiversity: the idea that neurological differences like autism and ADHD are the result of normal, natural variation in the human genome (via: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/my-life-aspergers/201310/what-is-neurodiversity)

PoC: People of Color

Queer: traditionally a pejorative terms, queer has been reclaimed by some LGBT folk to describe themselves. Some value the term for its defiance and because it can be inclusive of the entire LGBT community. Nevertheless, it is not universally accepted even within the LGBT community and should be avoided unless quoting someone who self-identifies that way

QPoC: Queer Person/People of Color

Sex-Shaming (f.k.a. “slut-shaming”): shaming someone because of their sexual behaviors/desires

SWERF: Sex Worker exclusionary Radical Feminist

TERF: Trans exclusionary Radical Feminist
Tone-Policing: focusing and critiquing on how something is said, ignoring whether or not it’s true

Trans: an umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Trans people may or may not choose to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically

Transmisogyny: hatred of trans women

Transantagonism: hatred or dislike of trans folk

Trigger Warnings: a trigger warning does not promise to protect readers of potentially triggering material, but provide them with the opportunity to decide whether they need to protect themselves. We provide trigger warnings because they give survivors of various stripes the option to assess whether they’re in a state of mind to deal with triggering material before they stumble across it (via http://www.shakesville.com)
WoC: Woman of Color

Intersectionality 101

Able-bodied privilege:
http://www.sap.mit.edu/content/pdf/able_bodied_privilege.pdfhttp://thatcrazycrippledchick.blogspot.de/2011/02/able-privilege-checklist.html

Ageism:
http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/05/ageism-feminism/

Being a Cis Ally:
http://lgbcenter.ucdavis.edu/lgbt-education/trans-ally-tips

Being a White Ally:
http://thinkspeakstress.tumblr.com/post/36026175582/i-usually-dont-do-things-like-this-but-i-had

Class privilege checklist:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/10/list-of-upperclass-privilege/

Cultural Appropriation/Cultural Exchange:
http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/09/cultural-exchange-and-cultural-appropriation/

Fatantagonism:
http://www.xojane.com/issues/on-rudeness-looking-unhealthy-and-being-called-a-fatass-at-the-beach

Feminism & Humanism:
http://www.shakesville.com/2008/04/feminism-101-feminism-and-humanism.html

Heteronormativity:
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-heteronormative-mean.htm#didyouknowout

How to deal with being called out:
http://tooyoungforthelivingdead.tumblr.com/called-out

Kyriarchy:
http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/04/kyriarchy-101/

Male privilege checklist:
http://amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/

Misogynoir:
http://www.gradientlair.com/post/60973580823/general-misogyny-versus-misogynoir

Racism:
http://racismschool.tumblr.com/

Reverse Racism Does NOT Exist:
http://feminspire.com/why-reverse-racism-isnt-real/

Reverse Sexism Does NOT Exist:
http://thegenderblenderblog.wordpress.com/2009/04/13/another-101-fact-there-is-no-such-thing-as-reverse-sexism/

Rape Culture:
http://www.wavaw.ca/what-is-rape-culture/ http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/03/examples-of-rape-culture/

Transmisogyny:
http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/01/transmisogyny/

White & Able-bodied privilege comparison:
http://www.uua.org/documents/idbm/accessibility/privilege.pdf

White privilege checklist:
http://amptoons.com/blog/files/mcintosh.html